Wednesday, 20 June 2012

Performance Anxiety is Killing Your Marriage - Part 2

In the May 26, 2012 issue of the Vancouver Sun, Tara Carsman and Douglas Todd “embarked upon a highly unscientific study” to find out what academics, counsellors and divorce survivors thought were the Marriage-Killers. Marriage-Killer number 2 was ‘pressure’.

Some of the respondents in the informal study cited the pressure to marry, as the reason for the failure of their relationship. The suggestion is that either they married too young, or got married to the ‘wrong’ person, or perhaps should never have not gotten married at all. However, these study participants felt that not marrying at a particular time in their lives, was not option.
Marriage and children – that was the norm.

Certainly now many people chose not to marry. Some remain in long-term, marriage-like relationships, while many do not. There is a greater sense of freedom with respect to how individuals pair-up.
Unfortunately, once married, spouses are susceptible to another form of ‘pressure’ that was not discussed in the Vancouver Sun study. Let's call it Performance Anxiety. 

Although it is not a confession commonly expressed by spouses, it seems that many people are breaking under the pressure of providing for their family, spending quality time with the children, participating in household chores, and being an attentive partner. Sadly, divorce brings welcome relief. 

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